How do you feel about Ansel Elgort in the new D&D movie… who IS he? Is there a reason this is a FAIL Squad Games article?
Here is the fella in question talking with Jimmy Fallon about Bruce Willis, his mom and some other banter. He does have a long list of movies and roles that he has been in, however, I have to admit to not seeing any of them.
IMBD here

One thing comes to mind when we see this actor and think of dungeons & Dragons, “Are they trying to make a cuter boy Legolas?”

Because, COME ON!!! Legolas had no business being in the hobbit, but the women production companies pander to in the theaters would never have stood for leaving him out. For that matter, Thorin had no business being…. whatever girl fantasy the company percieved hue should be either.

So are production companies just pandering to the teen-girl-crush in the movie to get asses in the seat instead of making the big budget epic Dungeons & Dragons movie we have waited SO long to see?

Dungeons And Dragons, to be directed by Rob Letterman, has been a top priority film for Warner Bros. which is looking for new franchises to invigorate the studio…. Which means they are taking a HUGE leap of faith after many years of just remaking old movies.

David Leslie Johnson (The Conjuring 2) scripted the fantasy story for the studio. Hasbro’s Brian Goldner and Stephen Davis, Sweetpea Entertainment’s Courtney Solomon and Allan Zeman, and Roy Lee are producing. So they have some traction on the production.

The big question is,”Are we getting an epic, or are we getting more crap?” Dungeons & Dragons movies have been attempted before, but they have been lousy budget productions with people who barely understand the game. I am SURE this will be a 5E movie, sorry old school fans, we will never get our true dream. This might come close though.

The hopeful and shiny side of this penny, is that Game of Thrones has experienced a hugs success among the nerds AND jocks (thank you boobs!). LOTR also created a large following, even if everything Hobbit related was a real disappointment.

Here at Fail Squad Games, we remain cautiously optimistic about this choice, and we keep watching the news with a glimmer of hope… daring to dream…. that us Dungeons & Dragons gamers MIGHT get our epic we have so-long dreamt about.

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The Remake of Bogey of Swindle (Spoiler alert)

Our heroes Lia (I had spelled it wrong previously) and Holg made it to Swindle. It suddenly became clear that they should have asked more questions back in Whisper when the tavern owner told them not everyone was exactly “human”. They assumed there would be no issue, because they themselves weren’t human (An elf and a half-orc). They did not expect Goblins!

They were greeted in the morning by the mayor of Swindle and his henchmen. An awkward first meeting to be sure. The Swindle Goblins are prepared for awkward first meetings and folks on their guard, but towering Holg was intimidating and the goblins were hesitant as well. Some quick conversation and offers of food (and booze) settled the meeting quickly.

Squizgar, a Blue Dragonborn druid had a rough scrape with some different nasty Goblins in some caves. She was recovering in the wilds the night before when she fled a mysterious forest fire in the distance and was offered some fast shelter from the goblins who were terrified of screeching beasts in their squash fields. Too wounded and exhausted to investigate the horrors of the fields, the goblins assured her she was safe, so she slept.

The next morning Squizgar met and joined Lia and Holg as the mystery of the creatures of the squash and pumpkin fields became more focused. The Goblins of Swindle were terrified of the haunts and demons that raided their fields, distillery, and their homes at night.

The heroes staked out the fields, not sure what to expect. The Bogey’s showed up with a dozen little demons and huge rats. The demons it turned out, were kobolds with haunting howls, but the Bogey’s…. the bogey’s remain a mystery. Lia was accidentally discovered as she attempted to creep near a Bogey. A battle erupted! Squizgar DID get near one Bogey in squirrel form, but she suspects something more mundane than an ethereal creature.

The battle with the Kobolds could have been horribly deadly. A Dozen of the nasty beasts charged at our three heroes weapons drawn. Holg leapt to the battle with his great axe, where Lia stopped him short, covered him in red berries and made him a fright.
Using his impressive intimidation he let out a roar and became his own terror in the night sending half the creatures fleeing in fright!

An entangle spell and a number of swings sent the cowards scrambling away. The Bogey’s were long gone though, they fled as soon as Lia was seen near the squash fields.

The night was saved, but the mystery remains. In the morning the heroes may be tracking Kobolds, but not before a rest. Hopefully they can find the least stinky of houses in Swindle.

They managed to wrangle one kobold to the caves bound in ropes. Now to convince the goblins that their terror is caused by something rather banal.